Westboro Baptist Church gets Pwned by 5-Year Old

By ticorules on June 16, 2013 • ( 1 )

jayden westboro sign

You’d think the Westboro Baptist Church would just wrap it up. I’ve already written about the WBC being scolded by the Ku Klux Klan. Being talked down to by a terrorist group is pretty embarrassing. But every time I think that there’s no more fun to be had with these horrible pieces of excrement, the Internets come to the rescue. In steps five-year-old Jayden Sink. Jayden, who’s apparently working on a dual degree in Business and Social Policy alongside her kindergarten studies, came up with an innovative way to fight against all of the hate that WBC continually spews. We’ll pick up the story in the Huffington Post:

Jayden, who is from Kansas City, decided to set up her stand at the Equality House after her parents explained to her the significance of its construct. After being told that the church across the street had a message of hate, she set a goal of raising money to go towards a message of love and peace.

So she painted a banner for the event reading, “Pink Lemonade for Peace: $1 Suggested Donation.” She put the stand in the grass and waited. But the waiting didn’t take long. Supporters came in by the droves and $1 turned into hundreds of dollars

Westboro, always one to make an embarrassing situation for themselves even worse, decided they couldn’t abide the lemonade stand. So they called the authorities. However, being that opening lemonade stands break no laws whatsoever in Kansas it devolved even further. I imagine the 911 call went something like this:

911 operator: 911, what’s your emergency?

WBC shithead: There’s a little girl across the street from our building. She’s selling lemonade!! You have to stop her!!

911 Operator: Is she in trouble?

WBC Shithead: Yes! She’s not just selling lemonade. It’s PINK lemonade. The gayest of all ades! She must be stopped!!

911 operator: *click*

Since the police refused to stop a child from selling lemonade on the street, the WBC went the direct route, calling patrons of Pink Lemonade for Peace “bastards.” Classy as always WBC, classy as always. Here’s the problem, WBC, besides your continued existence which I have to stomach because it’s the price of free speech. Jayden is selling lemonade and peace. You’re selling Haterade and homophobia. You can’t win this fight.

You look like this…

She looks like this…

Your hatred only makes her stronger. And while you’re praying for more dead Americans soldiers…

She’s raising thousands of dollars for a great cause.

westbaoro baptist church lemonade

So to sum up: Lemonade: 1, Haterade: 0 .

Journalist and historian Thomas Frank once famously asked “What’s the Matter with Kansas?” in his 2004 book. Whatever it is, it’s certainly not this little girl. I strongly advise everyone to donate to something that not only seeks to reduce the hatred in the world but will also piss off the Westboro Baptist Church, each an incredibly worthy cause. Please go donate to Pink Lemonade for Peace!