Weiner Boldly Pushes Forward

Anthony Weiner and his wife Huma Abedin

So this Anthony Weiner sex scandal has officially gone off the rails.   I’m not saying I haven’t enjoyed the madness.  I mean the New York Post covers alone were worth the price of admission.  Who could forget such timeless classics as Weiner Exposed, and Weiner’s Second Coming? My all time favorite has to be Obama Beats Weiner.  Whether you want to admit that we are all not-so-secretly seventh graders or not, the name alone makes this fun for everyone, left and right.

That all said — enough, we get it already. It’s bad enough I had to watch the first go round of this a couple of years ago.  But the actual story — and coverage — has actually gotten even more moronic with time.  Does anyone remember all of the women who couldn’t wait to get in front of news crews to proclaim that they too had seen Anthony Weiner’s junk?  It was like the end of the Spartacus movie.  But instead of everyone claiming to be the title character, it was more like —I’ve seen his penis.  No I’ve seen his penis. No me!–  Somehow though, despite the fact that this is possibly the lamest sex scandal ever (he wasn’t even in adjacent commonwealth with most of these women), people seem extremely put off by the entire enterprise.  Everyone from the women involved in the scandal, to the gossip blog that broke the story to New York Times themselves seem unable to take hold of their senses. Oh my god, the moralizing!  But there’s plenty of stupid to go around.  Let’s start with the man himself.

Anthony Weiner – Dude, you were forced to give up your Congressional seat for sending naked pictures of your junk to an assortment of women across the country.  You go on your rehabilitation tour talking about forgiveness and how much you’ve changed all the while doing the same thing with some girl from Indiana ?  How is it possible you’re still alive?  Typically this type of stupid gets weeded out early on in life.  On the other hand, I have to admit that Carlos Danger is a badass name.  Not only that, you transformed an encounter where a woman who started out chastising you for engaging in online explicitness, then you got her to engage in online explicitness.  Wow! That is some O.G. shit right there. Respect.

thedirty.com – That would be the gossip rag website that broke this news.  Please stop with the high and mighty attitude.  You do know you’re called The Dirty right?  You make your living on the lurid details of this exact type of scandal.  Much like the WBC vs. the KKK, there is no moral authority here.  Secondly, stop calling Mr. Weiner a sexual predator.  He didn’t lure her online.  She not a child.  Not only is Ms. Leathers an adult but she willingly engaged in the behavior you seem to find oh so offensive after the original scandal in 2011.  She also contacted him first.  In what world does trading dirty text messages equal rape?  Luckily, I don’t take lessons in ethical behavior from tabloid “journalists” whose previous breaking news had the words ‘celebrity’ and ‘upskirt’ in the title.

This is the selfie of a person who wants no attention whatsoever. Nothing says anonymous like leopard

Sydney Leathers  – first of all, if that’s not a porn name I don’t know what is.  Secondly, do please spare me the crocodile tears.  You knowingly engaged in the exact type of behavior you now find distasteful with the man for months.  There’s a difference between victim and enthusiastic participant.  Guess which one you are.  You can’t have a lurid online relationship with someone for the better part of a year and then go to the tabloids wagging your finger in shame at the man.  Sanctimonious beauties like these from thedirty.com:

I realize my correspondence with Mr. Anthony Weiner was a huge mistake and I am embarrassed by it. But the facts are the facts, and he’s running for mayor of NYC so I felt I should get my story out there.

So you were fine with the behavior until he decided to run for Mayor?  That makes a Bizarro World kind of sense.  Ms. Leathers continued:

I have no reason to lie. I don’t want the attention or I wouldn’t have kept my anonymity. I didn’t get paid for anything. I quite literally have nothing to gain from this.

Right.  Talking with your friend about how you were going to cash in on your relationship with Mr. Weiner and then ultimately going to a site called The Dirty are clearly the actions of someone who’s embarrassed, and wants to keep her anonymity, but as a responsible citizen just can’t bear to see this scandalous person back in office.  That must also be why you’re giving an exclusive interview to CBS’s Inside Edition.   For future reference, the way to keep your anonymity is 1) not talking about your private consenting adult relationship with a married man to the press, or 2) at least taking some minimal steps to insist that you do stay anonymous during the whole “public scandal” process. Sure, lady — I  look forward to seeing you on Dancing With the Stars.  Still, not knowing when to stop digging the hole she’s already in, her Inside Edition interview is littered with gems like:

“I feel sick about it. I’m disgusted by him. He is not who I thought he was.”

My how times have changed.  Where was all this disgust while you and he were involved in this nonsensical online tryst?  Now as for him not being who you thought he was, LOLZ!  Your initial online conversation with Mr. Weiner happened on Facebook.  The subject: Ms. Leathers’ disappointment in Mr. Weiner’s behavior back in 2011.  One can only assume that disappointment stems from not getting dick pics earlier.  But my absolute favorite part of the interview came a little later (I swear that one was inadvertent).  In reference to Senior Carlos Danger sending her dirty pics she says:

“I was absolutely shocked that he was willing to do that. And the fact that it was his idea is even more shocking,”

So shocked was she that shortly afterwards they began having phone sex no less than two times a week.  And that’s the entire interview in a nutshell.  Her remarking how strange it was that he kept doing all of this dirty, dirty stuff.  Sweetie, you’re neither a whistle-blower(zing!) nor the victim.  But I’m sure the book deal is being finalized now.

But the facts are the facts, and he’s running for mayor of NYC so I felt I should get my story out there.

Repeated and bolded for emphasis.
New York Newspapers – The New York Daily News has an editorial proclaiming Why Weiner Must Go.  Similarly, the New York Times in Mr. Weiner and the Elusive Truth want Weiner to go away as well.  Let’s start with the Times:

In the meantime, the serially evasive Mr. Weiner should take his marital troubles and personal compulsions out of the public eye, away from cameras, off the Web and out of the race for mayor of New York City.

Oh boy.  Let’s start with former NYC Mayors.  I seem to remember Rudy Giuliani not only cheated on his wife but also doing it with his press secretary.  I don’t remember the NYT editorial board asking him to take his marital troubles and personal compulsions away from New York.  This despite the fact that they both lied about it.  Next up former Speaker of the House and Presidential wannabe Newton Leroy Gingrich.  Gingrich is probably halfway through ruining his third marriageby now, the first two having been ended by his relentless infidelity.  I can’t quite recall the NYT’s saying he shouldn’t run for President because of it.  And speaking of relentless infidelity, we have the granddaddy of them all, William Jefferson Clinton.  There are no less three separate affairs he’s lied about.  One of them came while he under oath which precipitated the Lewinski scandal.  That’s why I’m sure New York Times was not only for Slick Willie bowing out of the 1992 Presidential campaign when Gennifer Flowers started telling tales out of class, but also totally for the impeachment proceedings in 1998 that came out of Blowjobgate.  Nope.  You know, it’s almost like they pick and choose when sex scandals mean you can’t have a job in high office.

The only thing worse than this puritanical moralizing is lack of consistency.   If lying about sex doesn’t preclude any of the men I mentioned above from seeking office.  Why is lying about not-sex the unforgivable sin?  To be clear, I don’t think one should lose their job in office for silly shit like this.  And the New York Times didn’t either, before a couple of days ago.  What happened?

Finally: There are plenty of real reasons not to vote for Anthony Weiner.  Maybe you think another candidate is more compelling.  Perhaps you don’t think his ho-hum record in Congress lends itself to a mayoral bid.  For example, he was in Congress for 12 years and has no real legislative record to speak of.  Going from lackluster Congressional record to running one of the largest economies in the world seems like a bit of a stretch.   But why talk about substantive issues regarding a candidate’s qualifications when you can just pretend to be offended by lurid, lurid non-sex.

I’m not sure who I’m voting for yet.  But I’m sure my primary vote and then my general election vote will be more informed by the candidates thoughts on moving the NYC economy forward and eliminating Stop & Frisk procedures rather than how many people across the USA have pics of their junk.

The only lesson one can take from this scandal is that if you’re a politician and you’re engaged in some form of untoward behavior, make sure you actually sleep with the man or woman.  It will go a lot easier on you.  Otherwise, they’ll be hell to pay.

Stay strong Weiner.  You may not have my vote but that doesn’t mean you’re not supposed to run.  I don’t care how far you…plunge into trouble  (thank you WSJ).  Besides, if he somehow wins the race.  He’ll be the Mayor Erect.  Those last two are for free, New York Post.  You’re welcome.

Categories: Politics Fix

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