Well, I did my civic duty and voted today. Things were a little different this year though. It’s much more modern now.  I’m not sure if New York City has updated all of their voting machines or I just live in a much better neighborhood these days. Knowing the municipal government, it’s definitely the latter.

Anyway, last election cycle and two crappy neighborhoods ago, I had to use the ancient voting machines from the Roosevelt administration (Teddy not Franklin). And they weren’t even new then.  Anyone out there ever see/use those behemoths? They’re about the size of furnace, complete with steampunk-esque switches and a giant lever.

The switches were in long columns and had candidates listed by party. When you used the switch to denote which candidate you were voting for, it literally made an ‘X’ by their name. When you finished voting for whomever you had to then pull the ginormous lever at the bottom so it would actually tabulate your vote. I assume.

It was like a weird carnival game or feat of strength from Festivus. That lever was neither for the faint of heart nor the weak.  Voting was for the STRONG!  I’m pretty sure signing in included some kind of medical waiver indemnifying the NYC election board against civil suits.  Ever wonder how tiny little abuelas can straight up body you out-of-the-way for a seat on the train?  It’s because they’ve been voting for years. That’s voting strong!

Today’s voting experience just doesn’t compare. I filled out my voting form, went over to a computer, scanned my document in, and that was it. Not even one feat of strength.

Still, its important enough that everyone should partake. So get down to your local voting place and get it done, folks.

Categories: Politics Fix

Tags: Festivus, Tiny abuelas, Voting, Voting machine