Today in Conspiracy Theory (Hurricane Sandy Concert)

Did everyone hear the grave news about the Hurricane Sandy Relief Concert on MSNBC?  Well, originally I thought it was a great idea.  You know, get some stars together, have them perform, and rake in loads of money for a good cause.  Oh, how wrong I was.  Turns out the benefit wasn’t a benefit.  It was a secret plan to make Obama look good. Well, at least it was according to Fox and Friends.

Brian Kilmeade: Did you hear what NBC’s decided to do? Listen, NBC, good intentions, raise some money for victims, but the timing is more than suspect. NBC today is gonna put together what they’re calling ‘Hurricane Sandy, Coming Together’, a concert. The question is, it’s gonna be Bon Jovi, Bruce Springsteen, Sting, Aguilera, Billy Joel—the question is, why the timing? Why is that today? Half the state of New Jersey doesn’t even have power, they can’t even watch this concert…

Yes, the key thing to remember in a crisis that kills more than 100 people, destroyed people’s homes and left millions more without power, is NOT to act too fast.  Also you should never do benefit concerts if the people you’re trying to help can’t see you on TV.  Except for all the relief in Africa, and the Tsunami victims in Indonesia, and the earthquake victims in Haiti, and everyone else in the world ever.  But he continued.

is this more political, is this more let’s get this thing on TV before the election to make President Obama look presidential, or is it more to help out victims?

Great question Brian!  Being that the President was no way involved with the production of the relief program and his leadership through the crises was never mentioned, I can see how you would be confused.  In fact, his named was never mentioned once unless of course, your brain is so addled by an extra glass of early-morning whiskey that when the hosts say “give to the red cross now” you hear “Barack Obama is so awesome.”

Of course Mr Kilmeade wasn’t alone in his use of mind-altering drugs that particular morning.  Into the fray steps Steve Doocy:

It does look like they are trying to squeeze things in, keep in mind, there you’ve got Bon Jovi, and Bruce Springsteen, both supported the President of the United States, Barack Obama, and in fact Mr. Springsteen I believe has been traveling with the President of the United States, uh, where are the conservative performers? There aren’t any on the list I saw.

As everyone knows, helping people doesn’t count if it happens too quickly.  You’ve got to make sure the maximum amount of people have suffered.  Also it doesn’t count unless, Ted Nugent, Kid Rock and the guitarist from Big and Rich are invited.  I used to think that the end result was all that mattered in these sorts of situations, not who actually performed.  But Fox and Friends has opened my eyes.

Damned liberal performers pretending to care about hurricane victims while secretly giving their time to boost up President Obama.  I mean sure Christina Aguilera and Billy Joel were both born in New York and Bruce Springsteen was born in New Jersey. Yes they have plenty of family and friends in the area.  But don’t let that fool you.  And what the hell was Kevin Bacon doing there?!  Don’t let the fact that he lives on the upper west side of Manhattan make you think he cares about New York or anything.  He got the secret memo too.

The jig is up.  I’m on to you all.  Next thing you know Mayor Bloomberg and Governor Cuomo will be taking about disaster relief.  Its all part of the conspiracy I tell you.

But then again, according to published reports, the Hurricane Sandy Benefit concert raised about 23 million dollars for the Red Cross.  Not bad for an hour of television.  So being that I unfortunately don’t have access to the types of drugs freely available at Fox and Friends, I’m going to have to file this under the BS Conspiracy Theory of the Week.

Also if you text the word REDCROSS to 90999 you’ll make a $10 donation.  Better yet go to and give more if you can.

Categories: Politics Fix

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